You’d think this should be “the most wonderful time of the year” but what if it’s not quite? Maybe you have some money worries nagging at you. Or health worries. Or perhaps the uncertainty of wondering what lockdowns and restrictions are coming next is hanging over your head. Or maybe it’s not so blissful being with the relatives (if you even can); there are extra stresses and strains this year that can affect our comfort with family or friends. Or maybe you, like everyone else, are wondering what’s coming – something big is coming, we can all feel it – but what? And when?
How do you handle this seemingly never-ending parade of anxiety-inducing stuff?! How do you surf the waves without getting sucked under? Which waves can you handle, and which ones are just too big?! And how DO you go about ‘riding the waves’ of what we are dealing with these days?
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE THOUGHTS
You know, it really pays to have a beginner’s mind when it comes to learning a new skill. The essential skill to cope with waves of anxiety and fears coming at us constantly is to keep our thoughts in a higher vibe. Like surfing the waves, the skill of keeping our thoughts on a higher vibrational frequency is kind of tricky and it’s being tested like never before. It seems like everyone now is having an opportunity to face their deeper fears that have apparently come to life – take your pick, it’s all there! Enjoy the reality movie!
SURF A HIGHER VIBE
The real secret to surfing the waves of intensity, anxiety, and inner fears showing up in our face, is to get on the ‘joy frequency’ and stay there. And that very much feels like being a beginning surfer! It seems simple in concept but is much more challenging when the waves are rolling in and you have no idea how you’re going to catch a wave, be able to stand up, and stay standing up all the way to shore.
Pam Grout, in Thank and Grow Rich, tells the story of learning to surf with her daughter. They were wanting to be cool and do the hang ten – you know, be ‘real’ surfers! Their surfing teacher, however, ignored their desire to rush the process, and just kept saying, “Keep your eyes on the beach. The board will go where you are looking. Keep your eyes on the beach!” There were jagged rocks on either side of the beach, and Pam speculates that he most likely didn’t want to spend his time peeling two beginning surfers off the rocks!
That surfing instructor’s insistence seems to be universal surfing wisdom. “Learn How to Surf in 10 Minutes” on Youtube gives resoundingly similar advice: “Where you look and point is where you’re going to go. Make sure you look at where you want to go!!!”
WHAT YOU LOOK AT IS WHERE YOU GO
You can look at the rocks or look at the beach. Wherever you look is what you will create more of. What you focus on is most likely what you will experience. It’s challenging, though, to keep your eyes off the rocks and keep them laser-focused on the good stuff because there is so much that tends to grab our attention in this time of chaos.
So how do we do that? How do we get on the joy channel and stay there? How do we keep our thoughts on a higher vibrational frequency?
Here are some things that might help ‘surf the waves.’ Choose one or more and have fun!
1. WRITE THINGS YOU LOVE
Every morning, make a little list of the things that you love, things that are beautiful, things you enjoy. See if you can come up with 10 things – or even just 3 if you’re running late. Set your day up with a positive vibe.
2. SING A “THANK YOU” SONG
Use “thank you” as a mantra or as the repeated words in a little song (maybe use your favourite tune?). Did you know that simply repeating “thank you” in your native language changes your brain and makes you feel happier? It also opens you up to receiving more good stuff! You could even sing a thank you song in the shower – why not use Christmas tunes?! (Next level: make up your own tune!)
3. THE ‘10 BEAUTIFUL THINGS’ CHALLENGE
Some time during the day, look around you and challenge yourself to notice 5 beautiful things – or 10, if you want to take it to the next level. We have to train our brain to slow down and notice beauty. This noticing beauty actually changes your brain chemistry. It works!
4. DITCH THE MEDIA – OR EVEN YOUR PHONE!
One thing that is the ‘jagged rocks’ for people’s vibrational frequency is being glued to media, whether it’s mainstream legacy media, alternative media, or social media. The most riveting news tends to bring people down and lower their basic vibrational frequency. What can you do to make those things less accessible? What can you do to make positive images, sayings, and songs show up instead?
Curate your social media feed so it makes you feel good. The ‘mute’ function on social media is a great gift. Mute the negative stuff so you don’t see it. (I have lots of pictures of birds and animals showing up in my Twitter feed now.) Find your peeps that inspire you and mute the rest.
5. TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE
Get on your outside gear, warm and cozy, and go for a 30-minute walk. The happy hormones this creates in your brain are beyond amazing. Take your friends, laugh and play, have a snowball fight, or just look around and notice the beauty in everything (see #3).
6. DO YOUR OWN ‘JOY ACTIVITY’
Get on the joy channel! Make a personal list of things you love to do, things that make you feel joyful – maybe some of them were things you loved when you were a kid. Pick one thing from your list, and do it today! The other day I picked ‘drumming’ from my list, and I found my djembe charts of world beats that I taught my music class, turned a box upside down, and drummed my way to happy!
7. SHINE THE LOVE
Practice saying “You’re beautiful and I love you” to everything you see. You can say it quietly or in your head if you’re shy! I tell my squirrel and bird friends this every day – and my 92-year-old dad! Next level: to every anxiety or fear that pops up, say, “You’re beautiful and I love you.” Just try it and notice how it feels! Put your hand on your heart to really get the effect.
8. PLAY BOARD GAMES
This is the time of year when families and friends often play games. Do it! It’s a break for your mind. The more mindless or absorbing the games, the more they will help you relax. Best results for your brain happy hormones? Group games, laughter-inducing, and NOT digital! Monopoly? Scattergories? Pictionary? Five Crowns? Get out the games!! Up-level this and play games outside! Fox and Goose, Snow Tag - you get the idea.
9. TURN “WHAT IF” INTO “SO WHAT IF”
It’s time to ridicule all those fear-inducing ‘What-ifs’. This game is more fun played with two, but solo works just fine also. The aim is to turn “What if??” into “So what if?!” Take a fear or anxiety through all the possible pitfalls to its logical (or extremely nonsensical) conclusion, and choose responses along the way. It’s the unknown aspect that scares us, and we can feel comforted by knowing that we have a back-up plan (even if it is utter nonsense). If this process leads to overcoming the fear of death, hey, that’s the ultimate spiritual freedom!
10.
LISTEN TO YOUR LANGUAGE
Just listen. Notice what you choose to talk about – does it have the effect of bringing UP the vibes of the conversation or bringing them down? Notice if you sound like a victim – “I can’t.” “Poor me.” “I’m powerless.” “They done me wrong.” We all have this tendency, so don’t feel ashamed – just notice. Notice how you talk about yourself – do you put yourself down or are you respectful to yourself in the way you talk to yourself and about yourself? And lastly, notice how you talk about others. Just notice. We’re all One, and what we say about others sounds to our inner heart as if we’re saying it about ourselves. Okay? Just notice.
11. BONUS: MAKE SILLY FACES IN THE MIRROR
This is especially effective if things are tense in the house. Go into the bathroom (your escape place of solitude, privacy, peace, and quiet), and make the goofiest faces you possibly can into the mirror. Stick out your tongue, put your thumbs in your ears and waggle your fingers, make a monster face – go over the top! Next level: do this to every single thing that makes you feel anxious or afraid. Nothing defuses the power of shadow monsters more than laughing at them!
I hope you have fun surfing the waves this holiday – and really, you know these are year-round happy tools, right? If you want to create good things in your life, keeping your thoughts and focus on a higher frequency is a discipline you (we all) need to master. So let’s do it together, and let’s have a blast surfing the waves right to that beautiful sandy beach!
Linda Lonseth, M.Mus, B.Ed.
Open the way forward by going within
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